I just wrote this poem to Naseeb, my son, on the first anniversary of his passing (27th May). The circus of thoughts and feelings that have been swamping me crossed over with a photograph which I still had on my mobile phone. The photo was of Naseeb at the airport in Rome at the end of a lovely holiday we had there in April 2015. I’d hardly looked at it since then but it now somehow called out to me.
Here’s the poem.
Love is always breathing
There you were.
Defiant. Independent.
The airport queues in Rome
seemed endless
We all stood waiting
to inch forward a little,
but not you.
You sat down on the floor
Calmly pulled out a novel
and began to read.
I felt so happy to see you
Doing your own thing, your own way
With alertness, confidence and humour
As always.
A year later you were gone from this world
Now another year on,
the storm continues.
Your departure seems like yesterday.
The pain, both yours and ours,
crystallised in our minds and hearts for all eternity.
Questions never end, disbelief continues,
Searching every corner
of every cavern in every world
Always elusive
I will always wish for your arrival, and
Never accept your departure.
Yet realities and truths
even though they cut
deeper than my bones
I must face.
Sometimes I question all existence
with lead weights pounding in my heart.
Whichever departure lounge you reach,
my love will be your companion.
Cradling your beautiful heart
I’ll hold you tight,
Through day and night.
Love is always breathing.
by Kooj (Kuljit) Chuhan, 27th May 2017
[ for a printable version click here ]
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Dear Kooj & Balwant, Thank you for this beautiful poem. It’s touched my heart. I’ve lost time truly hadn’t realised it was a year since Naseeb’s passing. Hope you’re taking good care of yourselves. Sending extremely well belated Birthday wishes to you both. I’ll buy you both a wee drink at least, when I see you. Which I hope will be sometime soon. I’ve mentioned last time I msgd that I’ve had a few recent minor iffy health issues. And unusually, Tommy’s also had an iffy health worry, and we’re slowly getting back into our normal life. xox, light, good vibes and peaceful living. Rxx
A tender and beautiful poem to Naseeb on the anniversary of his passing. Your love shines very strongly. We are thinking of you both and we think of Naseeb whenever we walk past the beautiful memorial tree in the park.
With love, John and Valerie.