Light up the earth

On Saturday it will be Naseeb’s birthday, he would have been 27 years old. Here’s a poem which Balwant wrote recently, along with a few photos of daffodils in our garden taken by Kooj.

We hold you close
So close
We celebrate loving you
holding you
seeing you
touching you
hearing you
knowing you

You can spot them
a mile off
At this time of year
They light up the earth
Daffodils, like you lit up our lives
And remain shining
in all the spaces
we now turn in

We hold you close
So close

Mirrors, Memories, Light

A second anniversary, trying to distil some thoughts and feelings, a father’s reflections in poetic prose.

I wrote this a few days ago over the late May bank holiday, the second anniversary of Naseeb’s passing, and wanted to share it with anyone who remembers Naseeb.   I know quite a few friends are wondering how I am and I never manage to put it into words properly or sometimes don’t say much at all, but I guess this gives an idea though its written at the toughest time of the year for both us parents.  Its kind of written in a poetic prose-monologue style, not on purpose it’s just how it came out and then tidied up to be shared.

– – – – –

Mirrors, Memories, Light

We’re having a beer at a busy square in a bohemian locality of Barcelona.  This evening a crowd of young people gather together, chatting, chilling, a few playing instruments.  You’re imbued with the energetic and creative vibe of the place and feel you’d love to come here maybe to stay one day.

We’re canoeing around a small lake at Gwalia farm near Machynlleth in Wales.  You’re 10 years old with a face full of radiant vigour.  Later you fall into the water and drench, big hassle when we’re away camping.  Hey ho, since when was a drenching allowed to get in the way?  Next day with that mischievous smile you’re raring to go again.

Two years have passed,
you’re still not here.
My phone is always switched on
awaiting your call, though
I know it will never come.
But what if it did?

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Poem for Naseeb read by Erin and Billie

This poem was read out by Billie and Erin when the tree was planted in memory of Naseeb at Longford Park last year.  It’s taken a while for this to be posted, thanks to Meghann for getting the words to us.  It’s nice to have it now as a revisit to that day a year ago.

The Poem:

We thought of you with love today,
But that is nothing new.
We thought about you yesterday
And days before that, too.
We think of you in silence.
We often speak your name.
Now all we have is memories
And your picture in a frame.
Your memory is our keepsake
With which we’ll never part.
The sky has you in its keeping
We have you in our heart.

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Tree Planting in Memory of Naseeb + gallery

Finally we’ve managed to put together the tree planting photos with Naseeb’s poem, an afternoon of words, music, food, friends and memories.

On 13th April 2017 a bunch of us (Naseeb’s friends and family) got together in Longford Park, Stretford, Manchester to plant a tree in his memory.  A previous blog post has details of the spot its in and about the tree which is a Prunus cerasifera Nigra, Purple Leaved Cherry Plum tree, and about why we chose that tree.

The weather was kind and we were in tender but good spirits.  Iona sang a beautiful version of a song by Laura Marling, Kooj sang a heartfelt version of Autumn Leaves (even though it was spring), Erin and a friend did a reading of their own writing for Naseeb.  Finally Balwant read out a poem that Naseeb had written when he was 10 years old (see below), and then we had food, drink and chatted.

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Poem to Naseeb from his father

With the end of May approaching, Naseeb’s father collected his feelings and thoughts then put them down as this poem to Naseeb.

I just wrote this poem to Naseeb, my son, on the first anniversary of his passing (27th May).  The circus of thoughts and feelings that have been swamping me crossed over with a photograph which I still had on my mobile phone.  The photo was of Naseeb at the airport in Rome at the end of a lovely holiday we had there in April 2015.  I’d hardly looked at it since then but it now somehow called out to me.

Here’s the poem.

Naseeb at Rome Airport, 29th April 2015: a poem to Naseeb
Naseeb at Rome Airport, 29th April 2015

Love is always breathing

There you were.
Defiant. Independent.
The airport queues in Rome
seemed endless
We all stood waiting
to inch forward a little,
but not you.
You sat down on the floor
Calmly pulled out a novel
and began to read.

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Marilyn’s Poem

Our long-standing friend Marilyn Cuffy wrote this poem to read out at Naseeb’s funeral. It meant a lot then, and still means a lot now.

Our long-standing friend Marilyn Cuffy wrote this poem to read out at Naseeb’s funeral.  It meant a lot then, and still means a lot now.  Thanks to Marilyn for letting us reprint this here.

Naseeb – My Wonder Boy, by Marilyn Cuffy

My screams you will not hear,
nor my pounding fists.
My warm embrace you will not feel,
nor the burning tears trickling
down my face,
forming a pool,
caressing you in its waters
as water protects in a mother’s womb.
My breath momentarily you took away
leaving me in wonder
for you are gone, gone , gone.

You remain my gentle boy,
the baby I cradled in my arms
years back with Amelia and Robert.
Your presence nearly always with us,
the birthday joys together,
family outings and gathering
in our homes.

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