Rome Archives - Naseeb Chuhan Memorial

Time, novels and ancient Rome

On Naseeb’s birthday holding time and lighting up his love of books, ancient Rome and our complex and beautiful world.

by Balwant, Naseeb’s mother

It’s daffodil flowering time of year again. In a previous post we mentioned that when Naseeb was little he would tell people his birthday was when the daffodils come out. On this which would have been Naseeb’s 25^th birthday, and the 4^th birthday since he died, daffodils are flowering including under his memorial tree.

Time has warped since Naseeb died. Often I find myself watching the past whilst trying to exist in the present. Particularly at tender times of the year like when it’s Naseeb’s birthday, the anniversary of his passing away and the end of the year. I become subdued and go into a vortex of my own thoughts, whilst the world carries on around me. Losing Naseeb has been all consuming. The words of Italo Calvino from his novel Invisible Cities come to mind:

Poem to Naseeb from his father

With the end of May approaching, Naseeb’s father collected his feelings and thoughts then put them down as this poem to Naseeb.

I just wrote this poem to Naseeb, my son, on the first anniversary of his passing (27th May). The circus of thoughts and feelings that have been swamping me crossed over with a photograph which I still had on my mobile phone. The photo was of Naseeb at the airport in Rome at the end of a lovely holiday we had there in April 2015. I’d hardly looked at it since then but it now somehow called out to me.

Here’s the poem.

Naseeb at Rome Airport, 29th April 2015: a poem to Naseeb — Naseeb at Rome Airport, 29th April 2015

Love is always breathing

There you were.
Defiant. Independent.
The airport queues in Rome
seemed endless
We all stood waiting
to inch forward a little,
but not you.
You sat down on the floor
Calmly pulled out a novel
and began to read.

Are the daffodils coming out?

The question of daffodils coming out was important for Naseeb very many years ago…

When Naseeb/’Chewie’ was young (as in ‘little’) people would ask him when his birthday was, he would reply “When the daffodils come out”. Ever since then we have had daffodils around on his birthday, which is coming up on 5th March. Not sure at all how we’ll feel on that day (bite nails…), but we got hold of some daffs and they are in a vase gradually opening up. If anybody else wants a moment to remember Naseeb you’ll have your own memories, but some of you might like to try a few daffs maybe… (…I know one or two are doing so). [originally posted on Facebook on 3rd March 2017 by Kooj, Naseeb’s dad]

[ps. image is daffodils photoshopped over Naseeb walking up the lengthy Spanish Steps in Rome 2015]