Kooj Chuhan, Author at Naseeb Chuhan Memorial

We needed a break…

Making cairns dedicated to Naseeb on the Isle Of Bute, Naseeb’s Grandparents’ house, and at Budle Bay. They help focus and manage our emotions, diffuse their intensity, though managing is not coping. Well, we needed a break…

… and so we got away for a week in late September, away from Manchester the city that was Naseeb’s home, and went to an island in Scotland called the Isle of Bute. It’s a small island, not far from Glasgow. I worried what it would be like to be somewhere that had no reminders of Naseeb, and none of his identity there in any way. It was a quiet island with hardly any tourists, lots of sea to look at and easy to get around. Would it help us in our ongoing pain and anguish, or make us feel like alienated strangers and intensify the trauma and shock that we were still experiencing?

Oddly, I found myself remembering Naseeb with more clarity than if I had been surrounded by continual snippets of him everywhere, which has been our comfort zone for some months. None of these snippets – photos, clothes, objects, possessions, books, and so on – are actually him, they are a fixed moment and each misses his real essence even if they come from his essence. They are not him, and I yearn for him, to have him back. I’d give my life for that, but it’s not possible.

Watching the infinite sea, feeling the blustery wind, walking over unspoilt landscapes, seeing nature commanding itself outside human control. Naseeb too is outside human control now. Maybe he’s mingling with all those raw elements, maybe his soul energy is still active in some form that is intangible to us mortals, maybe… or maybe not. Who knows. Either way, it was good to be focused on raw nature in parallel with our raw emotions for Naseeb, away from the complexities of the modern world which had collapsed in on him.

Small cairn for Naseeb on the Isle Of Bute

Occasionally around Scotland you will see the odd cairn, which is a pile of stones built up into a cone or pyramid in some way. They are often built as landscape markers that can be of wildly varying sizes, but can also be memory cairns for loved ones. A local bay full of stones that had been weathered for centuries made good materials for a simple cairn to remember Naseeb by. After collecting a batch of stones riddled with grooves eroded into them, I built a very small and simple one on the Isle of Bute.

Marilyn’s Poem

Our long-standing friend Marilyn Cuffy wrote this poem to read out at Naseeb’s funeral. It meant a lot then, and still means a lot now.

Our long-standing friend Marilyn Cuffy wrote this poem to read out at Naseeb’s funeral. It meant a lot then, and still means a lot now. Thanks to Marilyn for letting us reprint this here.

Naseeb – My Wonder Boy, by Marilyn Cuffy

My screams you will not hear,
nor my pounding fists.
My warm embrace you will not feel,
nor the burning tears trickling
down my face,
forming a pool,
caressing you in its waters
as water protects in a mother’s womb.
My breath momentarily you took away
leaving me in wonder
for you are gone, gone , gone.

You remain my gentle boy,
the baby I cradled in my arms
years back with Amelia and Robert.
Your presence nearly always with us,
the birthday joys together,
family outings and gathering
in our homes.

A Website of Remembrance and Love for Naseeb Singh Chuhan

GUIDE TO NASEEB CHUHAN MEMORIAL website, with links to each section. A memorial for a lovely, caring, fun and thoughtful young man.

This website began soon after Naseeb passed away, but it’s taken a few months for the words, photos and videos to be edited and presented here. We wanted to have a memorial for a lovely, caring, fun and thoughtful young man that anyone who knew him or knew of him could visit to remember him, wherever they may live. This might help us hold Naseeb close within our hearts as the years pass.

GUIDE TO THIS WEBSITE: Here is a list of what there is on this site so far, with links to each section. The items that have an asterix (*) after them are password-protected because they contain images of friends or family which do not have permission for public viewing. Contact us if you don’t have the password and would like to view these items.

Comments, Tributes and Reflections – currently these are on the home page; this provides a place for people who knew Naseeb to share their own thoughts https://naseebchuhan.com/comments-tributes-reflections

Eulogies that were read out for Naseeb at his cremation service https://naseebchuhan.com/funeral/eulogy/

The Programme for the Cremation Service is reproduced at https://naseebchuhan.com/funeral/programme/

Cremation Service photos*: https://naseebchuhan.com/gallery/photos-of-cremation-service/

Social Gathering photos*: https://naseebchuhan.com/gallery/photos-of-social-gathering/

Edited Videos of the cremation service, and of the social gathering, on 23rd June 2016 https://naseebchuhan.com/funeral/video/
The performances each in their full length are also available as separate video clips at https://naseebchuhan.com/gallery/performances/

Graffiti Art by Leo, an amazing public tribute by a close friend of Naseeb https://naseebchuhan.com/gallery/graffiti/

Photos of Naseeb at different ages can be seen as a short set of selected classic shots at https://naseebchuhan.com/gallery/

Slideshow of Naseeb’s life*: this extensive set of photos as Naseeb grew up along with family and family friends was shown at the Social Gathering after the Cremation Service on 23rd June 2016, it’s available as a video along with a nice soundtrack at https://naseebchuhan.com/gallery/slideshow/

Photos of Naseeb with friends* – a short set taken by some of his friends along with odd screen-shots of tributes from Facebook https://naseebchuhan.com/gallery/photos-from-friends/

This is the first blog post on this website. There are many memories and reflections on Naseeb’s life that we hope to post here from time to time. There are also issues which affect young people, especially men, who can find themselves close to the edge which we might also write about here.

To be notified about new posts when they are published, please follow this blog using the ‘EMAIL ME’ box on the right side of this post (if you are on a PC) or farther down (if you are on a tablet or phone). Alternatively follow us on Facebook by liking our page https://www.facebook.com/naseebschuhan/ . Hope we’ll see you again.

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A mini-cairn for Naseeb on an owl-pot in Naseeb's grandparents' hallway — A mini-cairn for Naseeb on an owl-pot in Naseeb’s grandparents’ hallway