Memorial Archives - Naseeb Chuhan Memorial

Naseeb’s 30th Birthday

Most people reading this will probably have noticed the recurring theme of daffodils in the posts on this blog. To recap: when Naseeb was little and someone asked when his birthday was, the usual answer would have been an approximation of the month and day. Instead, Naseeb would simply say “It’s when the daffodils come out”. It was a sense of this part of the year in relation to the seasons and nature which he somehow connected with, and so daffodils have been a regular feature in our lives around his birthday.

This year is special (but really every year is), he would have been 30 years old today. As parents we dearly hold our love for Naseeb every day expressed in all kinds of ways – including daffodils.

Revisiting Malham Cove on the 7th Anniversary

Last weekend and the few days leading up to it were the seventh anniversary of when Naseeb passed away. This year we decided to mark it with a day out at Malham Cove and the nearby Gordale Scar up in North Yorkshire, where we took Naseeb when he was an infant.

It’s a striking place to see and at that age the scale and size of the place must have seemed even larger and more dramatic. Malham Cove has a heck of a lot of steps to climb, but at the top there is what they call a ‘limestone pavement’ made of huge slabs of rock (clints) which are separated by gaps (grykes). It’s pretty dramatic.

Light up the earth

On Saturday it will be Naseeb’s birthday, he would have been 27 years old. Here’s a poem which Balwant wrote recently, along with a few photos of daffodils in our garden taken by Kooj.

We hold you close
So close
We celebrate loving you
holding you
seeing you
touching you
hearing you
knowing you

You can spot them
a mile off
At this time of year
They light up the earth
Daffodils, like you lit up our lives
And remain shining
in all the spaces
we now turn in

We hold you close
So close

Poem for Naseeb read by Erin and Billie

This poem was read out by Billie and Erin when the tree was planted in memory of Naseeb at Longford Park last year. It’s taken a while for this to be posted, thanks to Meghann for getting the words to us. It’s nice to have it now as a revisit to that day a year ago.

The Poem:

We thought of you with love today,
But that is nothing new.
We thought about you yesterday
And days before that, too.
We think of you in silence.
We often speak your name.
Now all we have is memories
And your picture in a frame.
Your memory is our keepsake
With which we’ll never part.
The sky has you in its keeping
We have you in our heart.

Tree Planting in Memory of Naseeb + gallery

Finally we’ve managed to put together the tree planting photos with Naseeb’s poem, an afternoon of words, music, food, friends and memories.

On 13th April 2017 a bunch of us (Naseeb’s friends and family) got together in Longford Park, Stretford, Manchester to plant a tree in his memory. A previous blog post has details of the spot its in and about the tree which is a Prunus cerasifera Nigra, Purple Leaved Cherry Plum tree, and about why we chose that tree.

The weather was kind and we were in tender but good spirits. Iona sang a beautiful version of a song by Laura Marling, Kooj sang a heartfelt version of Autumn Leaves (even though it was spring), Erin and a friend did a reading of their own writing for Naseeb. Finally Balwant read out a poem that Naseeb had written when he was 10 years old (see below), and then we had food, drink and chatted.

Longford Park Tree Memorial for Naseeb

On Thurs 13th April 2017, at 12:00 noon, we’ll be planting a tree in Longford Park in memory of Naseeb, all welcome.

Planting a tree in memory of Naseeb was an idea that some of Naseeb’s friends wanted to do a while back. They got in touch and its taken some time to organise, but suddenly its now going to happen NEXT WEEK! The planting will take place from 12:00 noon on Thursday 13th April through lunchtime. The tree will be planted in Longford Park roughly in the centre of the gardens area of the park (next to the Japanese Gardens, number 17 in the map below) which is close to the Longford Park Stadium, Ryebank Road, Manchester M21 9TA. Everyone who knew Naseeb is welcome to come along if they are free at that time, please pass the word on.

We needed a break…

Making cairns dedicated to Naseeb on the Isle Of Bute, Naseeb’s Grandparents’ house, and at Budle Bay. They help focus and manage our emotions, diffuse their intensity, though managing is not coping. Well, we needed a break…

… and so we got away for a week in late September, away from Manchester the city that was Naseeb’s home, and went to an island in Scotland called the Isle of Bute. It’s a small island, not far from Glasgow. I worried what it would be like to be somewhere that had no reminders of Naseeb, and none of his identity there in any way. It was a quiet island with hardly any tourists, lots of sea to look at and easy to get around. Would it help us in our ongoing pain and anguish, or make us feel like alienated strangers and intensify the trauma and shock that we were still experiencing?

Oddly, I found myself remembering Naseeb with more clarity than if I had been surrounded by continual snippets of him everywhere, which has been our comfort zone for some months. None of these snippets – photos, clothes, objects, possessions, books, and so on – are actually him, they are a fixed moment and each misses his real essence even if they come from his essence. They are not him, and I yearn for him, to have him back. I’d give my life for that, but it’s not possible.

Watching the infinite sea, feeling the blustery wind, walking over unspoilt landscapes, seeing nature commanding itself outside human control. Naseeb too is outside human control now. Maybe he’s mingling with all those raw elements, maybe his soul energy is still active in some form that is intangible to us mortals, maybe… or maybe not. Who knows. Either way, it was good to be focused on raw nature in parallel with our raw emotions for Naseeb, away from the complexities of the modern world which had collapsed in on him.

Small cairn for Naseeb on the Isle Of Bute

Occasionally around Scotland you will see the odd cairn, which is a pile of stones built up into a cone or pyramid in some way. They are often built as landscape markers that can be of wildly varying sizes, but can also be memory cairns for loved ones. A local bay full of stones that had been weathered for centuries made good materials for a simple cairn to remember Naseeb by. After collecting a batch of stones riddled with grooves eroded into them, I built a very small and simple one on the Isle of Bute.

A Website of Remembrance and Love for Naseeb Singh Chuhan

GUIDE TO NASEEB CHUHAN MEMORIAL website, with links to each section. A memorial for a lovely, caring, fun and thoughtful young man.

This website began soon after Naseeb passed away, but it’s taken a few months for the words, photos and videos to be edited and presented here. We wanted to have a memorial for a lovely, caring, fun and thoughtful young man that anyone who knew him or knew of him could visit to remember him, wherever they may live. This might help us hold Naseeb close within our hearts as the years pass.

GUIDE TO THIS WEBSITE: Here is a list of what there is on this site so far, with links to each section. The items that have an asterix (*) after them are password-protected because they contain images of friends or family which do not have permission for public viewing. Contact us if you don’t have the password and would like to view these items.

Comments, Tributes and Reflections – currently these are on the home page; this provides a place for people who knew Naseeb to share their own thoughts https://naseebchuhan.com/comments-tributes-reflections

Eulogies that were read out for Naseeb at his cremation service https://naseebchuhan.com/funeral/eulogy/

The Programme for the Cremation Service is reproduced at https://naseebchuhan.com/funeral/programme/

Cremation Service photos*: https://naseebchuhan.com/gallery/photos-of-cremation-service/

Social Gathering photos*: https://naseebchuhan.com/gallery/photos-of-social-gathering/

Edited Videos of the cremation service, and of the social gathering, on 23rd June 2016 https://naseebchuhan.com/funeral/video/
The performances each in their full length are also available as separate video clips at https://naseebchuhan.com/gallery/performances/

Graffiti Art by Leo, an amazing public tribute by a close friend of Naseeb https://naseebchuhan.com/gallery/graffiti/

Photos of Naseeb at different ages can be seen as a short set of selected classic shots at https://naseebchuhan.com/gallery/

Slideshow of Naseeb’s life*: this extensive set of photos as Naseeb grew up along with family and family friends was shown at the Social Gathering after the Cremation Service on 23rd June 2016, it’s available as a video along with a nice soundtrack at https://naseebchuhan.com/gallery/slideshow/

Photos of Naseeb with friends* – a short set taken by some of his friends along with odd screen-shots of tributes from Facebook https://naseebchuhan.com/gallery/photos-from-friends/

This is the first blog post on this website. There are many memories and reflections on Naseeb’s life that we hope to post here from time to time. There are also issues which affect young people, especially men, who can find themselves close to the edge which we might also write about here.

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