Mirrors, Memories, Light

A second anniversary, trying to distil some thoughts and feelings, a father’s reflections in poetic prose.

I wrote this a few days ago over the late May bank holiday, the second anniversary of Naseeb’s passing, and wanted to share it with anyone who remembers Naseeb.   I know quite a few friends are wondering how I am and I never manage to put it into words properly or sometimes don’t say much at all, but I guess this gives an idea though its written at the toughest time of the year for both us parents.  Its kind of written in a poetic prose-monologue style, not on purpose it’s just how it came out and then tidied up to be shared.

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Mirrors, Memories, Light

We’re having a beer at a busy square in a bohemian locality of Barcelona.  This evening a crowd of young people gather together, chatting, chilling, a few playing instruments.  You’re imbued with the energetic and creative vibe of the place and feel you’d love to come here maybe to stay one day.

We’re canoeing around a small lake at Gwalia farm near Machynlleth in Wales.  You’re 10 years old with a face full of radiant vigour.  Later you fall into the water and drench, big hassle when we’re away camping.  Hey ho, since when was a drenching allowed to get in the way?  Next day with that mischievous smile you’re raring to go again.

Two years have passed,
you’re still not here.
My phone is always switched on
awaiting your call, though
I know it will never come.
But what if it did?

Continue reading “Mirrors, Memories, Light”

Onions, Chapattis, Chilli Peppers…

Memories come at oddly random times and so this is an oddly random post – about Onions, Chapattis, Chilli Peppers…


Chopping an onion the other day (ok ok, see the pic), it was one of those many times I remembered Naseeb. The way he hadn’t got used to it without his eyes smarting. He loved spicy food where chopped onions are essential so something he’d need to get used to sometime. Even with his eyes watering his face had that usual look of being as amused by it as he was irritated. He’d put on some music to keep the vibe going while we’d cook, all kinds of stuff though we did have a phase of both being into playing the Red Hot Chilli Peppers at one time – ok yeah very apt!

This post might feel slightly on the random side, though along with a pic of the onion here is also a pic of Naseeb around Xmas 2012 making some chapattis with his mum (I haven’t got one of him chopping an onion) to show he regularly did his bit in the kitchen. Naseeb is in my mind, sight, smell and sound all the time.


We’ve been a bit quiet leading up to Xmas and also afterwards which we struggled through. I wanted to post something since its been a couple of months since the last post, and good to have something a bit lighter? Plenty of news to come (and not more Onions, Chapattis, Chilli Peppers type stuff), including a date for the inquest and a tree to be planted for Naseeb in Longford Park. His birthday is also coming up – 5th March, which will be a hard but precious time for us. Thanks to so many people for the support. Kooj x (Naseeb’s dad)