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Your birthday will never pass uncelebrated

We wanted to share this beautiful Facebook post from Naseeb’s friend Meghann Forrest which was created on his birthday this year. The drawings and poetry are full of warmth and sensitivity, delicately photographed with the daffodils. Here it is:

Your smile is one to always remember,
Your laughter will always be infectious,
Your kindness always overwhelming,
Your spirit will always be unparalleled.

You will be in our thoughts forever,
Your birthday will never pass uncelebrated,
Your heart will be carried in our hearts,
Your memory will never be forgotten.

Happy Birthday Chew x

Here is also a message that Meghann sent us on Naseeb’s first birthday after he died:

Hi Balwant and Kooj,

I hope you are well. I just wanted to let you know that yesterday me, Sarah and Dom bought some daffodils and walked up to the viewpoint in Brandon Hill Park. We left the flowers on a bench overlooking Bristol, to wish Chewie a happy birthday. I felt it would be a good place to celebrate his birthday due to his love of nature. I’m sure he would have visited this park during his time in Bristol. My thoughts were with you both all day.

I also just wanted to say thank you for the way you raised Chewie, he was always so kind, respectful and had the most beautiful heart; he really was a credit to you. He will always be in our thoughts, and in our hearts. I look forward to seeing you both again at Easter when we plant a tree for Chewie, and I look forward to having a place to go and remember all of the amazing memories I have of him.

Sending you both lots of love, Meghann

Thanks Meghann, and to all our friends for their reflections and support in the different times and ways they give them. x

Daffodils and birthdays

Hello everyone, it’s been a long time since anything was posted on this website. With Naseeb’s birthday coming up on Monday we thought you might like to see this photo. It’s of Naseeb crouching behind daffodils in our old front garden on his 3^rd birthday. As you can see he had a keen eye for fashion even then.
The recent cold weather and snow has slowed down the flowering of daffodils in our garden – they’re the signature flowers for Naseeb’s birthday. So we’ve got a few bunches from a local shop. Love to all from Balwant and Kooj X x

Tree Planting in Memory of Naseeb + gallery

Finally we’ve managed to put together the tree planting photos with Naseeb’s poem, an afternoon of words, music, food, friends and memories.

On 13th April 2017 a bunch of us (Naseeb’s friends and family) got together in Longford Park, Stretford, Manchester to plant a tree in his memory. A previous blog post has details of the spot its in and about the tree which is a Prunus cerasifera Nigra, Purple Leaved Cherry Plum tree, and about why we chose that tree.

The weather was kind and we were in tender but good spirits. Iona sang a beautiful version of a song by Laura Marling, Kooj sang a heartfelt version of Autumn Leaves (even though it was spring), Erin and a friend did a reading of their own writing for Naseeb. Finally Balwant read out a poem that Naseeb had written when he was 10 years old (see below), and then we had food, drink and chatted.

Naseeb, art and uprisings (with Femi)

A bold composition with strong lines and muted colours in keeping with the look of street and activist printing but with a modern contemporary twist. Yep, that really was him wearing the army gear. Naseeb, art and uprisings…

The Arab Uprisings caught the world’s attention in a very big way around early 2011 with incredible images of ordinary people standing up to and battling their governments. These images struck a chord with Naseeb, who also saw the links between them and other actions like the Occupy Movement. He admired those young people taking to the streets against corrupt authorities despite putting their own lives at risk.

That same year, Naseeb decided on this subject matter for his GCSE art project while at Manchester Grammar School. He roped in his friend Femi Nylander to pose together in similar action scenarios, and had themselves photographed by the art teacher. He split these photographs into cut out sections that could be reassembled. From these he created a set of tricky and labour intensive lino cuts which he then printed and reassembled into a final image, in combination with some digital printing.

Poem to Naseeb from his father

With the end of May approaching, Naseeb’s father collected his feelings and thoughts then put them down as this poem to Naseeb.

I just wrote this poem to Naseeb, my son, on the first anniversary of his passing (27th May). The circus of thoughts and feelings that have been swamping me crossed over with a photograph which I still had on my mobile phone. The photo was of Naseeb at the airport in Rome at the end of a lovely holiday we had there in April 2015. I’d hardly looked at it since then but it now somehow called out to me.

Here’s the poem.

Naseeb at Rome Airport, 29th April 2015: a poem to Naseeb — Naseeb at Rome Airport, 29th April 2015

Love is always breathing

There you were.
Defiant. Independent.
The airport queues in Rome
seemed endless
We all stood waiting
to inch forward a little,
but not you.
You sat down on the floor
Calmly pulled out a novel
and began to read.

Longford Park Tree Memorial for Naseeb

On Thurs 13th April 2017, at 12:00 noon, we’ll be planting a tree in Longford Park in memory of Naseeb, all welcome.

Planting a tree in memory of Naseeb was an idea that some of Naseeb’s friends wanted to do a while back. They got in touch and its taken some time to organise, but suddenly its now going to happen NEXT WEEK! The planting will take place from 12:00 noon on Thursday 13th April through lunchtime. The tree will be planted in Longford Park roughly in the centre of the gardens area of the park (next to the Japanese Gardens, number 17 in the map below) which is close to the Longford Park Stadium, Ryebank Road, Manchester M21 9TA. Everyone who knew Naseeb is welcome to come along if they are free at that time, please pass the word on.

Are the daffodils coming out?

The question of daffodils coming out was important for Naseeb very many years ago…

When Naseeb/’Chewie’ was young (as in ‘little’) people would ask him when his birthday was, he would reply “When the daffodils come out”. Ever since then we have had daffodils around on his birthday, which is coming up on 5th March. Not sure at all how we’ll feel on that day (bite nails…), but we got hold of some daffs and they are in a vase gradually opening up. If anybody else wants a moment to remember Naseeb you’ll have your own memories, but some of you might like to try a few daffs maybe… (…I know one or two are doing so). [originally posted on Facebook on 3rd March 2017 by Kooj, Naseeb’s dad]

[ps. image is daffodils photoshopped over Naseeb walking up the lengthy Spanish Steps in Rome 2015]

Onions, Chapattis, Chilli Peppers…

Memories come at oddly random times and so this is an oddly random post – about Onions, Chapattis, Chilli Peppers…

Chopping an onion the other day (ok ok, see the pic), it was one of those many times I remembered Naseeb. The way he hadn’t got used to it without his eyes smarting. He loved spicy food where chopped onions are essential so something he’d need to get used to sometime. Even with his eyes watering his face had that usual look of being as amused by it as he was irritated. He’d put on some music to keep the vibe going while we’d cook, all kinds of stuff though we did have a phase of both being into playing the Red Hot Chilli Peppers at one time – ok yeah very apt!

This post might feel slightly on the random side, though along with a pic of the onion here is also a pic of Naseeb around Xmas 2012 making some chapattis with his mum (I haven’t got one of him chopping an onion) to show he regularly did his bit in the kitchen. Naseeb is in my mind, sight, smell and sound all the time.

We’ve been a bit quiet leading up to Xmas and also afterwards which we struggled through. I wanted to post something since its been a couple of months since the last post, and good to have something a bit lighter? Plenty of news to come (and not more Onions, Chapattis, Chilli Peppers type stuff), including a date for the inquest and a tree to be planted for Naseeb in Longford Park. His birthday is also coming up – 5th March, which will be a hard but precious time for us. Thanks to so many people for the support. Kooj x (Naseeb’s dad)

We needed a break…

Making cairns dedicated to Naseeb on the Isle Of Bute, Naseeb’s Grandparents’ house, and at Budle Bay. They help focus and manage our emotions, diffuse their intensity, though managing is not coping. Well, we needed a break…

… and so we got away for a week in late September, away from Manchester the city that was Naseeb’s home, and went to an island in Scotland called the Isle of Bute. It’s a small island, not far from Glasgow. I worried what it would be like to be somewhere that had no reminders of Naseeb, and none of his identity there in any way. It was a quiet island with hardly any tourists, lots of sea to look at and easy to get around. Would it help us in our ongoing pain and anguish, or make us feel like alienated strangers and intensify the trauma and shock that we were still experiencing?

Oddly, I found myself remembering Naseeb with more clarity than if I had been surrounded by continual snippets of him everywhere, which has been our comfort zone for some months. None of these snippets – photos, clothes, objects, possessions, books, and so on – are actually him, they are a fixed moment and each misses his real essence even if they come from his essence. They are not him, and I yearn for him, to have him back. I’d give my life for that, but it’s not possible.

Watching the infinite sea, feeling the blustery wind, walking over unspoilt landscapes, seeing nature commanding itself outside human control. Naseeb too is outside human control now. Maybe he’s mingling with all those raw elements, maybe his soul energy is still active in some form that is intangible to us mortals, maybe… or maybe not. Who knows. Either way, it was good to be focused on raw nature in parallel with our raw emotions for Naseeb, away from the complexities of the modern world which had collapsed in on him.

Small cairn for Naseeb on the Isle Of Bute

Occasionally around Scotland you will see the odd cairn, which is a pile of stones built up into a cone or pyramid in some way. They are often built as landscape markers that can be of wildly varying sizes, but can also be memory cairns for loved ones. A local bay full of stones that had been weathered for centuries made good materials for a simple cairn to remember Naseeb by. After collecting a batch of stones riddled with grooves eroded into them, I built a very small and simple one on the Isle of Bute.

Marilyn’s Poem

Our long-standing friend Marilyn Cuffy wrote this poem to read out at Naseeb’s funeral. It meant a lot then, and still means a lot now.

Our long-standing friend Marilyn Cuffy wrote this poem to read out at Naseeb’s funeral. It meant a lot then, and still means a lot now. Thanks to Marilyn for letting us reprint this here.

Naseeb – My Wonder Boy, by Marilyn Cuffy

My screams you will not hear,
nor my pounding fists.
My warm embrace you will not feel,
nor the burning tears trickling
down my face,
forming a pool,
caressing you in its waters
as water protects in a mother’s womb.
My breath momentarily you took away
leaving me in wonder
for you are gone, gone , gone.

You remain my gentle boy,
the baby I cradled in my arms
years back with Amelia and Robert.
Your presence nearly always with us,
the birthday joys together,
family outings and gathering
in our homes.